Saudade is a Portuguese word that means you miss something, or that you are longing or yearning for something or someone that you love and that is not with you. It’s told to be a very profound and nostalgic feeling and almost always an important part of the Portuguese soul.
We, as a people, as a nation, are saudosistas, meaning that we have, in general, many things that we have saudades of. But, I barely understand that, as I almost don’t have such a feeling.
Sure, there are a lot of things that were important in my live, that made me what I’m today like my grand-mothers house – right next to my grand-aunt house, where a lot of kids would be freely playing together, without major concerns – our or from our parents – there is my aunt, who was more of a mother for me than my mother, or at least had a major role in a very important part of my youth – there is … there is, obviously, a lot a people and moments that were (and are) important to me, and that had an important role in my life and help make me what I am today.
But there is only one thing I really have saudades of.
And that is a small group of people I was part of in my first year of University. Antónia, Carla, Rita e Samuel. This was a strange group and, to tell the true, I have no idea how we started getting together. Samuel was in my course with me, but none of the girls were. Rita was in Computing – Teaching variant, and the other girls were in Literature.
But we got together a lot, eating, having drinks or coffee – but always discussing, exchanging ideas about the most important subjects – what boys like on girls and girls like on boys – or the most unconsequent ones – like politics, from political theory to practical politics.
All ideas were equally bad, and someone would always have a better idea, a point to add, a reason why some idea was not that good, how the good ones could be improved, what could be done and how.
But the amazing thing about this group – or how I remember it – was that is was always about the ideas, was that we could always chop any idea to pieces and destroy the pieces one by one, without the fear that someone would be offended because her/his idea was completed slaughtered.
And from all things I have memory of – and believe to be part of my past – this is the only one that I really have saudades of.
And, by the way, we were a mixed group that never were about sex or romance.
What about you, what do you really miss?